Why We’ve Forgotten How to Be Alone | Dr. Robert Coplan #030
Sitting In Podcast | Ep. 030 - Dr. Robert Coplan | Dr. Robert Coplan is a published Solitude researcher, a professor, and author of The Joy of Solitude - How to Reconnect with Yourself in an Overconnected World.
The modern world is more connected than ever before and changing in ways we could never have imagine 10 years ago, let alone 100 years ago. In the midst of this connection is a distinct loss of time spent purposely disconnected, which Dr. Coplan has dedicated his career to studying.
In today's episode, you can expect to learn:
- What Solitude means and how it's different from loneliness, isolation, or ostracism
- Why letting your mind wander can be a surprisingly powerful exercise
- What it means to actually be alone in 2026
- How to combat "Social Snacking"
and much more!
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00:00 Intro
00:35 Why Should we Care about Solitude?
01:53 What even are Ostracism, Isolation, Loneliness, and Solitude?
06:15 What about Solitude as a side effect of other choices?
09:44 How to Start Reframing Isolation into Solitude
11:39 Society is pushing for imbalance - so what do we do?
13:18 Practical Advice #1: Keep a log of your alone time
14:19 Creativity and Solitude (the isolated "mad genius")
16:12 Don't let solitude disappear when you get busy!
17:35 Meditation isn't the ONLY way
18:54 Austin's experimentation in solitude
21:17 Being "onstage" vs "offstage"
23:43 Dr. Coplan's favorite way to experience solitude
24:06 "Hard" vs "Soft" Fascination
25:14 Mind wandering research - powerful tool for creativity and productivity!
27:11 Why is there such a stigma around solitude?
28:47 The importance of communication surrounding solitude
30:31 Introversion vs Extraversion when it comes to solitude
33:58 Specific research on introverts vs extraverts experiencing solitude
34:41 Dr. Coplan's response
35:50 You can easily change the way you experience solitude
38:05 Solitude is like a skill! (you have to train those "muscles")
39:47 Solitude as an "intervention"
40:27 What does it mean to actually be "Alone" today?
42:20 Technology can actually help solitude!
43:41 The harms of "Social Snacking"
46:06 What Happens when we combine these ideas?
49:05 Dr. Coplan's thoughts on Arthur Brooks' recent "boredom" PSA. Is "boredom" a good reframe for solitude?
51:09 Is there a metric like Heart Rate Variability for measuring Solitude?
54:58 Isolation Entropy
57:37 Dr. Coplan's Thoughts on Isolation Entropy
1:01:01 Another metaphor for isolation entropy
1:02:37 Third Spaces and the impact on solitude
1:06:00 Why are we so bad at predicting how social interactions will go?
1:08:07 Who is Dr. Coplan's favorite historical author regarding solitude?
1:10:55 What would Dr. Coplan beg a young person to figure out sooner than he did?
1:14:45 Find more of Dr. Coplan's Stuff!